3 Things

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There is so much drama in the world that we actually forget to fully appreciate our environment and all the blessings we receive in our daily lives. For the time being, I have had a realization on the 3 most dangerous things that we must avoid to do in living in this perfectly imperfect world.

Before I head on to those things, I just want to let you know that these are just based on my perspective.

1. Never expect too much (“Nobody’s perfect”)

No matter how idealistic I may be in giving so much hope in humanity’s ability to regain its values as beings of this world, I have wholeheartedly acknowledged that I must never EVER expect people to be perfect. We all have different experiences and we came from all kinds of backgrounds. Even if people are of the same family, each individual still has their own way of thinking and thus, has his/her perception on life and approaching its challenges.

There is NEVER one way out and with that being said, we must look at everything with an open mind. It is hard enough to come up with a solution.. what more when you are only given one way to get it right. The problem with our current society is that we expect everyone to do their jobs or tasks perfectly perfect, which is ever highly unlikely.. especially if we have imposed that rule on them. It is already challenging enough to understand who we are that who gives us the right to know that we already understand everyone.

2. Never attach yourself (“Let it go”)

In this temporary world, we would not want to depend our happiness on material and worldly things that will only disappoint our understanding of how life should be lived. It is definitely difficult to face this reality. This can sometimes apply to people as well. Growing in a collectivist culture and a strong sense of family ties, I was not able to succumb the thought of having to see each person totally separated and different from me that I cannot have the full capability of getting to know them unless I have a use for them. That’s what media and society has taught me.. I hope that there is more to it than this. (I’ll further elaborate on my next post)

Then again, I have been hurt by not being able to get what I have worked hard for, whom I have given my trust to, and the future that I thought I will have. At the end of the day, it’s me against the world. Or at least.. my family against everyone else. There is nothing personal with this realization rather it is more of an observation that I wanted to share to you. This world is a place of detachment and if you attach yourself to everything that you do, you might forget what true happiness is. For me, it is my family. I have been blinded in the past because of the said promises after my commitment.. that I lost sight of spending quality time with my loved ones. It was definitely a heavy burden but once I acknowledged that this is something that I treasure, I made sure not to make the same mistake.

And it felt great, a relief!

3. Never aim for success

This is actually quite surprising.. even to see me typing this myself. I was once a firm believer that we have to focus on our goals and to not be distracted by “life”. However, life is the reason why we have those goals in the first place, right? What is the point of achieving them if we would not be able to enjoy the ride and learn from the process of getting there? Does the title or achievement simply satisfies us? YES.. but until when?

I used to be so hungry for achievement because I thought it would help me boost my confidence. Don’t get me wrong, it did but then it easily vanished and I had a higher goal to achieve, which made me feel more hungry than before.. until I reach a certain point where I understood that I am just simply collecting certificates, acknowledgements, recognition, and well, trying to “fit in”. It made me more distant to who I am than ever.

I lost myself.

Establish your values and principles in life. Let everything happen on its own, treat every problem as a challenge to make your stronger. Have goals set but do not ever have those hinder you from experiencing the great, amazing things that are happening around you.

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Productivity

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Winter just drives our motivation away since the cold makes you want to sleep in and watch your favorite and try on different TV shows! (by the way, I am totally into the Walking Dead after having been told by kazillion times on how amazing it is.. next up is Breaking Bad) However, knowing that this is what Winter mentality is.. we should have acknowledged that already and thus, have taken a different path to increase our productivity while still being able to do what we want to do.

Here are some thing that I thought helped me a lot in keeping track of what I have to do.. especially in University (while working and staying involved)

1. Find your study/work playlist

For some people, it is easier to concentrate once you get your beat moving. However, I will suggest the music that will actually make you work.. not dance/sing like crazy. Honestly.. I have learned it the hard way. I have been browsing youtube and ended up watching almost 20 music videos/cover. #whatawaste #enjoyeditthough

LOL so yes, it is better to stick to a playlist. It will be a rough ride to get the right one so I’ll help you. I suggest looking up for Boyce Avenue playlist since their acoustic covers are the best songs to play if you want to concentrate OR if you like instrumentals, look for study music OR if you want upbeat songs, go for Ariana Grande Your Truly Full Album. Those worked well for me so I hope it also does for you!

2. Know the time when you’re most productive

Trying so HARD to concentrate when you are obviously distracted does not help at all. I have learned this the hard way too.. As I’ve mentioned in my old post, I used to be a competitive swimmer who trains everyday in the afternoon, which sooner or later made my productivity time become late at night or after dinner around 7:30-11:00 PM. Once I arrived in Canada, I thought I would have more time to concentrate but.. nah. My body knows when I’m most productive so going against it does not help.

This is my timeline:
morning (9-11) – most productive doing household chores and easy tasks like calling for appointments/paying bills/organizing my planner
mid-afternoon (11-3) – most productive doing medium creative tasks like playing an instrument/reading/blogging/responding to e-mails
afternoon (3-6) – most productive doing easy-medium school tasks like reviewing/answering some practice q’s/research
evening (7-11) – most productive doing hard/challenging school tasks like memorizing/typing for a paper/studying for a test AND easy creative task like reflecting/writing on my journal

Even if I know these, it does not mean that I’m perfectly fine with my time management skillzzz. I still have so much to improve on but taking the first step is the way to go! YOU SHOULD CREATE YOUR PRODUCTIVITY SCHEDULE TOO! 🙂

3. Sleep/eat right!

Need I say more? With the stress the world gives to us.. never indulge. I will say it again, never indulge! You will regret it right after. Sleep consistently at the same time every night so that your body clock will be consistent as well. Do not oversleep all the time because it will cause you to be more lazy.. it’s better to sleep early and wake up early than sleep really late and wake up super late. You will feel refreshed too!

4. Exercise (or at least move around as if you’re in the gym taking your Zumba classes)

We are all busy.. that’s for sure. Especially with all the stress this season brings to the way we perceive our responsibilities. Nonetheless, it should now stop us from treating our body right. Doesn’t it feel great to feel comfortable with the way you move? I am not implying that you have to be skinny and lean rather healthy. Sweat if off in the gym, dance in your room, do some yogilates via youtube (search it up), jump/skip/hop, walk instead of waiting for long hours for your commute (an exception will be when you’re experiencing a snow storm..), swim.

Feel like a superstaaaar! Plus, summer is coming so you’d want to strut your summer clothes, am I right?

5. Chill sometimes

Go watch a movie with your family or friends, celebrate your hard work, go downtown to take some beautiful and refreshing photographs, and just give yourself some time to stop and reflect on how you are currently feeling. 🙂

I hope I was able to help you in some way. It feels great to write these posts because it’s kind of a refresher course for me as well. If you think I’m living a stress-free life, you are wrong. I am on my journey towards that good life. Challenges are part of it and it’s better to recognize that nothing is perfect in this world so that we can keep trying to improve.

Give

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I have a lot in my mind, in my hands, and on my shoulders. I try to carry these tasks at the best of my abilities but sometimes, life just hits me hard. REALITY STRIKES. (not its good side)

These moments are when I observe and see something that I am not happy with. Not because it’s not everything is not happening the way I want it to be but rather things are just becoming so dry. I see people with no emotions and feelings and just.. numb from anything. It may be because they are tired, frustrated, and thus, just gave up their own pursuit of being who they have always wanted to be. On the other hand, there are those people who, after experiencing pain and suffering, just ignored that there is such thing as love and care in the world. Independence has arrived and taken over his/her life.. without knowing its limitations.

Where is the love in this world?
What is humanity now?

I have my own dreams and actually, I will be chasing one of them tomorrow but after encountering some of the worldly problems I don’t really want to mention because it’s not worth ranting about.. I am just so distracted with why these things happen in this life? I believe that I am one of the happiest people on earth whose innocence is trying to overcome all the challenges this life has given me. I am trying.. I am trying to be who I am and giving back to the community even if sometimes I just feel alone.

Every time I lend a helping hand, I feel fulfilled and full of worth. I guess, I just do not want people to experience what I felt. To let them know that they are not alone.

Okay, I’m giving and giving. I like it. I love making people happy.. that’s just who I am but you know, sometimes I just want to experience the same thing as well. To have someone say constantly that they believe in me. For now, I’ll thrive with the smiles I receive. It’s worth the wait.

The Irony of “Happiness”

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There are two things that have been in my mind for quite some time. Just an observation based on my own experiences. Getting to understand the meaning of happiness and how it can lead to success is quite a big idea deal with. We may get the understanding that this is how it all works but actually, after having to watch Shawn Achor’s TEDtalk video about “The Happiness Advantage”, it does make sense to create a better analogy on how happiness can lead to success and not the other way around.

However, it is easier said than done. No matter how much we strive to do what we love, we always come to a point where it does not seem right anymore or your aspirations seem to be at a different path. Now, no one can really say which one is which.. only you. Before we get to the realization of what happiness should feel like, we have to understand ourselves more than our surroundings. (our strengths, our weaknesses, our background, our culture, and most importantly, our values that creates that foundation towards our thought and behaviour)

2 things I came to think of when it came to knowing what will make me “happy” are quite ironic.. well according to how I have been feeling the past few months, here they go:

“The more people I know, the more lonely I feel.” 
It is confusing but that’s how I feel. I am a friendly person by nature and I just love to meet new people. In the longer run though, I don’t feel as connected to them like I used to. This is no generalization, just a situation. I treasure these people whom I have met and there is no way that I would replace their friendships with anyone else. There are just moments when I feel that it is so difficult to keep up with each person’s life. I know the quality of he relationship is always more important than quantity of times you have met; however, we can’t deny how the friendship goes deeper through the memories you have spent together, which equals the time you make time to be with them.

Current situation: still in the path of understanding the art of balancing relationships

“The more effort I put into pushing myself to get out and discover who I am, the more I feel lost.”
It is believed that it is extremely important to get to know yourself first before you head out for the world. I have always had this thought that once I create my goal, I must focus towards achieving it even if it meant that I have to give up some things. This is how I was brought up. My parents would always talk about sacrifice and service and how these two things can lead to happiness and later on, success with achieving the life you have always wanted to have. However, this kind of wisdom is not working for me right now. I am craving to do the things that I used to do.. unfortunately, I do not have enough time for them. It’s just sad to realize how I have to comply to this path when i could have traveled the road less traveled by. I have been involved in almost anything and everything but nothing seems to fill my heart and my satisfaction.. I have been thinking that maybe, just maybe time would tell. That once I get to that phase, I would understand and I would experience the greater happiness. I was just wondering, until how long?

Current situation: still in the path of either realizing or creating my own identity

Life of a 20-something: Phase 0.

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Initially inspired by one of the best authors I know: Meg Jay (MUST READ: Defining Decade & MUST WATCH: her amazing Ted Talk)

Being a 20-something seems like just that typical feeling where you just feel nothing because you know that you’re just growing a year older.. and that’s it. But that’s how I used to think of it. After reading Meg Jay’s Defining Decade, I learned to understand how being 20 is NOT just being 20, it’s all about transforming to a young adult entering a new phase of her life. This year of being a 20 year old was a definite roller coaster ride, from going way up to all the way down and all around. It was crazy but there are no regrets, just realizations. I don’t know if you have experienced this or experiencing this at some point. My objective is to merely give you a portion of my life.

Check in — confused and overwhelmed

SELF-DISCOVERY:

Emotionally, I feel lost.
Mentally, I feel that I have too much to learn and to catch up on.
Physically, I feel like after a year of no competitive swimming, I was able to develop my own routine of taking care of my health (I still have a sweet tooth nonetheless.. unfortunately.)
Spiritually, I am floating. I believe in God and I sincerely love Him with all my heart but there are a lot of times when I still feel empty.

1st Quarter:
First year of University in a different country with a new set of people to deal with. (except for my dearest family of course) I was involved in a lot of volunteering activities.. trying to understand the culture in this totally strange world. I got accepted into a seasonal job, which by the way I really loved. I met a lot of people from very diverse backgrounds, it was definitely interesting in so many ways. However, there are still times when I felt alone. I had a job, I was involved, I was getting good grades, but I was not contented. I miss swimming and I missed my old life and my best friends. I almost felt lucky but at the same time, without it. It was quite ironic. Creating memories with the new people I have healed that urge to go back to the past.. but not completely.

2nd Quarter:
No exercise, it was winter time too. Oh what fun! I was healthy and emotional at the same time. Now, let’s not laugh about this.. even if it sounds funny (or not). My job was done for the season and I was studying for five courses in comparison with the four courses I had before. I had no social life because I was so involved with school that I almost forgot what it felt like to just get out and enjoy or stay in and watch some TV series with my PJ’s. This is practically the worst quarter for me because I was more than alone, I felt alienated. I did get to meet up with some of my friends but how I perceived myself was not something I really hoped to feel. I thought Winter would be great, because it’s snow and.. well, it was my first time to experience snow. Then after a winter-tastic quarter, I said to myself never again. I miss my tropical country!

One night, I got to talk with a dear friend talking about anything and everything. I was laughing and crying at the same time, there were just a lot of emotions involved. It was moody and relieving at the same time. Now, I don’t feel alone. I came into a realization that I almost forgot.. I have my family with me and that’s what’s most important. We will get through with this TOGETHER. Moreover, I attended this amazing conference, called LEADER SHAPE, which made me understand my worth as a person and as a human being. If you have this program in your University, I highly suggest that you take advantage of this. It changed my life.. my vision was established. (something I will share soon)

3rd Quarter:
Hello Spring and hello Summer! Something I really really look forward to. I was able to get over my fear of treadmills after trying it out for the third time, this time I was successful. We, my brother and I, were able to make the most out of the facilities we have here. It was about time to get back in shape. I was getting the hang of how my new position works in this organization I am involved in. I was hired for a new job after a long process of recruitment and selection. It was definitely worth the wait. I took 2 summer courses and they were very much aligned to my own interests. I have had some moments when I felt idle but that did not push me to go back to sinking into my over thinking. After having to do a lot of reflections in different conferences and during my me-times, I was able to increase my patience towards persevering to overcome challenges that are worth fighting for. It was happy inside, the sense of fulfillment gave me self-confidence but I was losing the balance of being able to make sure that I maintain my relationships intact. (be updated with their lives and vice versa)

4th Quarter:
It is ironic to realize how the intention of being individualistic does not match the results that you see. I thought getting to improve myself and investing in my own experiences would benefit those around me. They were proud of me but I was not proud of how I had lesser and lesser time to spend with them. My values are now in conflict with my aspirations. Which comes first? I am still trying to find the right intersection. I have the least idle moments so that is good because it only means that I’m becoming more productive. My room is cleaner or maintained better than it used to. I brought up posters / large reminders to keep me on track with my goals and routine. I feel more matured and less conscious with what I say because I push myself to speak up. It has always been hard but I try.. I keep on trying. In the end, we have got to realize that nobody can help us but ourselves!

Over-all realization:
I have a lot to improve on, that’s for sure but nothing is stopping me from learning more and more. It’s interesting how the world works, just take the time to get to know it especially the people. What really moved me is how the project of Brandon from New York was able to capture the simplicity and beauty of human life. This is an initiative that can catch your attention wherever you come from because of how natural the pictures and real their stories are. #mustread We are all but humans, we possess a treasured life that is meant to be shared.

Before you Cross

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This is such a broad topic to talk about but I’ll open it up anyway since I am really interested in knowing more about it. People have usually told how mature I think and at first, I felt that it was weird.. that maybe, I should think less matured because it’s not proper for my age. However, as I grew up, I realized that I end up getting so deep in my thoughts and even in my words without even being intentional about it.. it was hard to deny myself so I just lived with it. By the time when I reached late adolescence, that is when I figured that being matured is not a bad thing after all. My way of thinking was ahead of my years and probably.. that was beneficial in some way.

My piano teacher would always admire how matured I was in my way of thinking and in handling different situations in my life and has told me to ‘keep it up.’ Later on, I read an article about bullying and was emotionally intrigued by the comments. There really is still hope for humanity if you look at them, people were very supportive, not a single insult about how strange the kid was. Then some thing called to my attention, someone made a comment that simply influenced other people to actually talk about it and it was something like this, “It’s funny how when we are young, we want to be like everyone else.. but trust me, once you get older, you’ll fight hard just to be different from everybody else.” That really hit me.. hard.

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STOP

Take some time to reflect on what matters to you most and invest your time in it. The society’s expectations and demands from you may be too much but taking your ‘me’ time is a must, it is a non negotiable must that you should be having. It’s a basic need. I am still young enough to experience the ‘real world’ but having a job and being in university may have shed some light as to what I could expect later on. It will be harder.. that’s for sure but it does not mean that I will have to just go with the flow. I have my own values to fulfill and that I should commit to.. not to other but to myself.

LOOK (at yourself)

Life is short and once we forget to get back to our childhood and remember who we used to be.. it will be hard to hear that inner voice once again. Now, I don’t want everyone to go “Y.O.L.O.” because yes, you only live once but that does not mean that you have got to do ALL the things that you want from getting drunk to going to a lot of parties to not setting priorities in life to well, just end up thinking about yourself and your interests. The quote simply tells us how living only once meant a whole lot more in terms of how you want to leave a mark to this world, how you want to spark a better change in humanity, or how you would want to share your vision for the world to see and experience. We have many desires but the best way to understand and actually apply them is through understanding yourself.

LISTEN (to that inner voice)

Make your life according to how you want to be. People will be throwing you some things that you will either adhere to or try to avoid. Don’t let it be a self-fulfilling prophecy. Create your own identity. I guess that is the reason why I have preferred University over high school.. not that I hated my high school years but it’s mainly because of the boundaries and limitations I had from labels like shy/quiet/sweet/kind/nice in being able to expand my personality and interests. I appreciated the acknowledgement of seeing me as a nice person but on the other side, it gave me an obligation to please other people, to avoid committing mistakes, and being seen as a ‘shy’ kid, I was unable to move past my comfort zone in actually trying out other things besides my own typical hobbies. Nonetheless, my senior year was a big breakthrough. (: University was my time and I did not stop the strong inner voice from projecting who I really am. Looking back from where I am now, I believe that the inner voice plays a huge role in giving me the courage to move beyond those labels and strive to be that person I’ve always wanted to be. (let me elaborate that soon)

That is just a simple example of how YOU should move past those self-fulfilling prophecies that keeps you from getting where you’re supposed to be at. Of course, you still don’t know your final destination but wouldn’t it be better to put your best foot forward in everything that you do and keep those in line with the kind of person you want to known as. Recognize the values you find so important so that you will have a good foundation when it comes to making decisions and establishing your own goals. Have an impact in your society not because you have done something significant but because you stayed true to yourself! 

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Friday’s Pep talk #1

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Take some time to reflect your achievements and strengths, acknowledge them. No one knows you better than yourself. But what if you yourself is confused as to who you truly are, well that’s a problem.. that most of us are facing so please please please don’t feel like you’re alone in the world with that kind of problem. Sometimes, you may feel down not knowing what you can offer to the world but that’s not it. Stop the hullabaloos!

“YOU ARE AMAZING JUST THE WAY YOU ARE.”

You may have had these certain experiences where you get lost because of how society tries to portray our roles in this world. Ignore those expectations and make your own. I don’t mean to actually forget about them and go numb about it. Make use of those expectations to make you a stronger person but never ever let those shape your personality. You are unique in your own way and no one, I say no one can or should make you do something that does not portray who you are. Nonetheless, some exceptions are the values that will help you become the better you. Other than that, those words that echo “forget about those people, forget about your values” or “just let it be” or even “who are you to dream that big”. (there are more statements that stops you from doing what you love) You are you and don’t be afraid to be who you are. Because in the end, it will be you who will present yourself for the world to see.

“SO DON’T BE AFRAID TO LET THEM SHOW YOUR TRUE COLORS.”

Enjoy the weekend my folks! and get ready for a better week next week. (: