Give

Standard

I have a lot in my mind, in my hands, and on my shoulders. I try to carry these tasks at the best of my abilities but sometimes, life just hits me hard. REALITY STRIKES. (not its good side)

These moments are when I observe and see something that I am not happy with. Not because it’s not everything is not happening the way I want it to be but rather things are just becoming so dry. I see people with no emotions and feelings and just.. numb from anything. It may be because they are tired, frustrated, and thus, just gave up their own pursuit of being who they have always wanted to be. On the other hand, there are those people who, after experiencing pain and suffering, just ignored that there is such thing as love and care in the world. Independence has arrived and taken over his/her life.. without knowing its limitations.

Where is the love in this world?
What is humanity now?

I have my own dreams and actually, I will be chasing one of them tomorrow but after encountering some of the worldly problems I don’t really want to mention because it’s not worth ranting about.. I am just so distracted with why these things happen in this life? I believe that I am one of the happiest people on earth whose innocence is trying to overcome all the challenges this life has given me. I am trying.. I am trying to be who I am and giving back to the community even if sometimes I just feel alone.

Every time I lend a helping hand, I feel fulfilled and full of worth. I guess, I just do not want people to experience what I felt. To let them know that they are not alone.

Okay, I’m giving and giving. I like it. I love making people happy.. that’s just who I am but you know, sometimes I just want to experience the same thing as well. To have someone say constantly that they believe in me. For now, I’ll thrive with the smiles I receive. It’s worth the wait.

Life of a 20-something: Phase 0.

Standard

Initially inspired by one of the best authors I know: Meg Jay (MUST READ: Defining Decade & MUST WATCH: her amazing Ted Talk)

Being a 20-something seems like just that typical feeling where you just feel nothing because you know that you’re just growing a year older.. and that’s it. But that’s how I used to think of it. After reading Meg Jay’s Defining Decade, I learned to understand how being 20 is NOT just being 20, it’s all about transforming to a young adult entering a new phase of her life. This year of being a 20 year old was a definite roller coaster ride, from going way up to all the way down and all around. It was crazy but there are no regrets, just realizations. I don’t know if you have experienced this or experiencing this at some point. My objective is to merely give you a portion of my life.

Check in — confused and overwhelmed

SELF-DISCOVERY:

Emotionally, I feel lost.
Mentally, I feel that I have too much to learn and to catch up on.
Physically, I feel like after a year of no competitive swimming, I was able to develop my own routine of taking care of my health (I still have a sweet tooth nonetheless.. unfortunately.)
Spiritually, I am floating. I believe in God and I sincerely love Him with all my heart but there are a lot of times when I still feel empty.

1st Quarter:
First year of University in a different country with a new set of people to deal with. (except for my dearest family of course) I was involved in a lot of volunteering activities.. trying to understand the culture in this totally strange world. I got accepted into a seasonal job, which by the way I really loved. I met a lot of people from very diverse backgrounds, it was definitely interesting in so many ways. However, there are still times when I felt alone. I had a job, I was involved, I was getting good grades, but I was not contented. I miss swimming and I missed my old life and my best friends. I almost felt lucky but at the same time, without it. It was quite ironic. Creating memories with the new people I have healed that urge to go back to the past.. but not completely.

2nd Quarter:
No exercise, it was winter time too. Oh what fun! I was healthy and emotional at the same time. Now, let’s not laugh about this.. even if it sounds funny (or not). My job was done for the season and I was studying for five courses in comparison with the four courses I had before. I had no social life because I was so involved with school that I almost forgot what it felt like to just get out and enjoy or stay in and watch some TV series with my PJ’s. This is practically the worst quarter for me because I was more than alone, I felt alienated. I did get to meet up with some of my friends but how I perceived myself was not something I really hoped to feel. I thought Winter would be great, because it’s snow and.. well, it was my first time to experience snow. Then after a winter-tastic quarter, I said to myself never again. I miss my tropical country!

One night, I got to talk with a dear friend talking about anything and everything. I was laughing and crying at the same time, there were just a lot of emotions involved. It was moody and relieving at the same time. Now, I don’t feel alone. I came into a realization that I almost forgot.. I have my family with me and that’s what’s most important. We will get through with this TOGETHER. Moreover, I attended this amazing conference, called LEADER SHAPE, which made me understand my worth as a person and as a human being. If you have this program in your University, I highly suggest that you take advantage of this. It changed my life.. my vision was established. (something I will share soon)

3rd Quarter:
Hello Spring and hello Summer! Something I really really look forward to. I was able to get over my fear of treadmills after trying it out for the third time, this time I was successful. We, my brother and I, were able to make the most out of the facilities we have here. It was about time to get back in shape. I was getting the hang of how my new position works in this organization I am involved in. I was hired for a new job after a long process of recruitment and selection. It was definitely worth the wait. I took 2 summer courses and they were very much aligned to my own interests. I have had some moments when I felt idle but that did not push me to go back to sinking into my over thinking. After having to do a lot of reflections in different conferences and during my me-times, I was able to increase my patience towards persevering to overcome challenges that are worth fighting for. It was happy inside, the sense of fulfillment gave me self-confidence but I was losing the balance of being able to make sure that I maintain my relationships intact. (be updated with their lives and vice versa)

4th Quarter:
It is ironic to realize how the intention of being individualistic does not match the results that you see. I thought getting to improve myself and investing in my own experiences would benefit those around me. They were proud of me but I was not proud of how I had lesser and lesser time to spend with them. My values are now in conflict with my aspirations. Which comes first? I am still trying to find the right intersection. I have the least idle moments so that is good because it only means that I’m becoming more productive. My room is cleaner or maintained better than it used to. I brought up posters / large reminders to keep me on track with my goals and routine. I feel more matured and less conscious with what I say because I push myself to speak up. It has always been hard but I try.. I keep on trying. In the end, we have got to realize that nobody can help us but ourselves!

Over-all realization:
I have a lot to improve on, that’s for sure but nothing is stopping me from learning more and more. It’s interesting how the world works, just take the time to get to know it especially the people. What really moved me is how the project of Brandon from New York was able to capture the simplicity and beauty of human life. This is an initiative that can catch your attention wherever you come from because of how natural the pictures and real their stories are. #mustread We are all but humans, we possess a treasured life that is meant to be shared.